Waves

"You were a wave and I was but a static particle."

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When I was in high school, I learned in Physics class that waves transfer energy through space and mass. It's fascinating how wave motions transfer energy from one form to another whether they're wind waves, or waves at the water.

And when I look back at what we had, I'd like to think that in the beginning I was but an unyielding entity in this Universe, and you were this great wave that propagated through space and time, transferring energy for me, to me, within me.

I was moved because of you, and in your moving me what was once a rigid being experienced a staggering amount of feelings for I let your energy flow through me and other dimensions of myself that were once unmoved -- how the very first touch of the wave that is you caused billions of other motions in succession, how your very presence in my existence created a thousand ripples and successions.

Yet I know, by definition, a wave is and will always be just a disturbance.

How foolish of me to think that you, my wave that touched two years ago, will stay, when everything that transpired since that touch are but a semblance of that single act that ceased to exist the moment that the energy you have transferred have exited you and have found its way into my entrance, have left me entranced in our memories of romance and bearings and crashes and burns and slow dance.

You were a wave and I was but a static particle - and we collided - perhaps far too strongly, for we happened too quickly, and we ended too suddenly. Perhaps your role, my wave, is done - to allow me to be undone - to let me move on my own and I know better now.

When the waves on the shore touch my feet I will let the water wash me, but I will not be swept away by waves like you that come only for you to leave and return to the ocean. What I need is neither disturbance nor impermanence; what I need is an energy that constantly happens. I am a force on my own. I no longer need a wave that will touch me just so that I can feel, just so that I can be for love is not meant to be like the waves.

Love is an energy by itself, in all forms imaginable, never destroyed and constantly conserved.

And I know that when the greatest force to meet my own - when Love comes - it will be far more different than the disruption that you were, far more constant than the fickle wave you were, far more real and more astonishing that you could only wish you were.